Neil as Dad

Layla on a nanotube

2007-11-02T16:26:00.000Z

OK, OK, OK - forgive me blogosphere, for I have sinned. It's been many months since my last blog posting. For my punishment I'll .... go and make a cup of tea and think about what I've done ;-)

And OK, this has nothing to do with me or Oscar (I'll post more on those topics soon).

I just wanted to point anyone reading to this.

Yes the recording not exactly CD quality - but what quality do you expect from a signal received by a radio made from a carbon nanotube - 10,000 times thinner than a human hair?

And no, it's not April 1st.

This is an astounding world we live in.

Bye-bye Heathrow, hello hedgerow

2007-07-17T21:35:00.000+01:00

It's been a bit light on the blogging front recently, and this time I have a cast-iron excuse - we've been moving house. They (whoever "they" are) say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can ever do, and I'm kind of in agreement - although I know that the experience would have been a hell of a lot more stressful if it hadn't been for the amazing organisational talents of my lovely wife.

We've moved counties from the home of one bunch of Saxons to another - from Middlesex to East Sussex. And we've swapped Heathrow for hedgerow.

Oscar is like a little whirlwind, running from the kitchen into the (much much bigger) garden and back again - smelling the flowers, pointing at the ants and butterflies, listening for the dogs and birds, feeling the wind in his hair and generally wearing himself out. He's now sleeping an hour later in the mornings (yessssssss!), up to two hours after lunch, and sometimes also getting his head down for a quick nap in the car in the morning too. This is what fresh country air does to a little lad!

Village life is taking a little getting used to (we now have two cars, which I always vowed I'd never do - but then I was living in a city and not in a small village in the middle of nowhere - and it's a bit overwhelming going from a house where everything was just as we wanted it, to one where there's so many things we want to do and so many possibilities) but overall we can't believe our luck.

If anyone wants to come and visit - roll up!

My name is Oscar

2007-05-27T09:50:00.001+01:00

It's been a hectic few weeks in my work life, and on top of all that we're also moving house. But it's not only been hectic for me and C: (not so) little O has also been a busy bee.

Mainly he's been busy in the brain development area - learning and speaking new words pretty much daily. And I'm a sucker for it - every new word brings an inner gasp of amazement from me. I know of course I went through the same development as a little dude - but seeing it close-up in someone else (particularly your own flesh and blood) is just astounding. Kind of like going to a safari park for the first time - how do giraffes run so fast with those amazingly long legs? How incredibly rough and hard a rhino's skin is, and so on?

For quite some time the little guy was plateaued - we were limited to "mama", "daddy" and "nana". But the past couple of weeks have seen a sudden boost! So here are just some of the words Oscar's starting saying over the past couple of weeks:

Oscar
Rainbow
High-chair
Sweetcorn (this word was a major favourite for quite some time)
Pea
Doggie
Bubble
Ball
Baby
Grandma (that's someone different to Nana, you see)
Digger
Car
Cheese
Pasta (this one comes out more like "pa-ta", but we understand it!)
Apple
Banana (this one is "naa-naa", which is actually different from "Nana")

On top of that he's also doing some good animal noises. If you catch him in the right mood and point to a cow he'll say "moo"; a sheep will elicit "baa", a lion will bring forth "grrrraaaaaa", and sometimes, a horse will bring a kind of "neigh".

Just incredible. He makes my day.

It's all for Oscar

2007-04-26T19:50:00.000+01:00

I've become a bit of a connoisseur of TV for small children over the past few months. We don't watch very much of it at all, but most days CBeebies will be on for a half hour or so.

And what a delight. I suppose it's a very common thing for parents to say, but I get a shot of guilty pleasure from watching some of these programmes with little O. Until today the tippety-toppest for me was "In The Night Garden...". This is a programme so strange it makes Teletubbies look like Newsnight Review. But it's brilliant. Plus of course it's narrated by Derek Jacobi, and there's nothing cooler than listening to creaky thesp intoning things like "Here comes the Ninky Nonk! Iggle Piggle is taking a ride on the Ninky Nonk."

And so it held a special place in my heart ... until... Shaun the Sheep.

6.45 rocks.

2007-03-01T22:18:00.000Z

I'm back!

After another prolonged period of non-dad-blogging I've finally pulled my finger out and made it back to the keyboard. Well actually the problem is that I spend most of my waking hours hunched over a keyboard, and I blog as part of my day job - so getting up the energy to write another blog entry in the evening isn't very often something at the top of my list. I need to do it though!

So here I am.

Today it was my turn to get up with O (we're very fair around here - we take it in turns to get up early with O, and to read him his bedtime story). I woke up at 6.45am, the sun was already up, and O was making his usual chatting noises next door. My first thought was "ooh how delicious - I've had a lie-in".

It's not too long ago that waking at 6.45 would have been at best a sign of everyday drudgery and heralded another peak-hour slog into a London office. Now it's a joyous event! After quite a few mornings getting up at 6 and a distressing number at 5.30 (and some even a little earlier than that) believe me, 6.45 rocks.

The only downside? We miss the beginning of the truly ace Balamory.

A lucky break

2006-12-03T18:39:00.000Z

I’ve been travelling a lot with work recently, which is good from a work point of view but tough from a family point of view. I was in New York for a fair bit of last week, and it was doubtless sod’s law that my departure coincided with Oscar getting his first serious temperature.

I’m sure that more seasoned parents would deal with a 40 degree temperature in their stride, but the first time it’s scary. In O’s case it came on completely without warning: one hour he was seemingly completely fine, and the next we was burning up and lolling about, all limp and sleepy. The following day I had to fly off and my wife was left to hold the fort. The first night was hell, I’m told (and I was told, as I arrived at JFK at 9pm, which was 2am in the UK – when C called me to say she was having a hell of a time – I think she just wanted to call someone and the only person who’d be up at 2am was me!)

Anyhoo he was all better by the time I returned on Friday, although by this time both C and I were coming down with something. Sheesh!

So what’s the lucky break?

Well, I was due off again (to Stockholm this time) on Sunday morning – so just 48 hours in the UK – and the luck break was that in that period O decided to do his first unassisted standing-up thing. Twice!

The little chap is growing and changing so fast that with the period of heavy travelling I’ve been doing, I’ve been really worried I would miss out on something really cool. I’ve heard so many stories of people being told on the phone, or when they got home from work – “oh, you’ll never guess, little X took his first step/spoke his first word/teased his first cat/etc today.” So there’s at least one small milestone I haven’t missed out on!

Climbing the walls...

2006-11-23T23:17:00.000Z

...well actually, this is about climbing stairs.

My wife read one of those baby development books last night (always dangerous) and it advocated that at around Oscar's age babies should be encouraged to climb - as long as it's safe.

So on his way to bathtime we decided to just let the little chap climb his way up the stairs to the bathroom. I can't believe how quickly he made it up those stairs - it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes, tops.

Now this might sound completely unremarkable. But we'd never seen him climb more than one or two steps before! It was amazing. When you think that he's crawling, not standing, so each stair is half his height, and the complete flight is probably 15-20 stairs, you've got to tip your hat.

Rock on Oscar!

Of course as soon as he got to the top of the stairs he made a beeline for a plug-in nightlight and attempted to electrocute himself. Nice.

I just hope he doesn't end up like one of these toddlers...

General Oscar update

2006-11-18T20:07:00.000Z

OK, so it's been 2 weeks since my last post here (forgive me, for I have sinned...)
My excuse is that work's been crazy (I'm writing a book with some colleagues) and I've been travelling loads.

Anyway it's about time I provided a general Oscar update, as loads has happened in the little chap's development!

he's got seven teeth (well the seventh is just poking through)

he points! Especially at lights. And torches are even more point-inducing

he's very clingy indeed, particularly when his Mum is in the room (if we're out of the house, strangely enough, there's no problem)

he would much rather stand than sit or lie in the bath

whenever he finds himself without a nappy on, his hands immediately clamp around his willy and he chuckles (he's a proper boy, then)

you can bet that he'll manage to pull or kick his shoes off within 5 minutes of having them put on!

Yes, it's fun at Oscar's house!

Testing, testing

2006-11-02T18:03:00.000Z

Am I fated to start every post off by thinking "agh, I can't believe how slack I've been in posting to this blog"? If you're going to do something, do it well, as my old Dad used to say (well he's not all that old, really - and I'm not sure he ever said that, precisely, but I think it's something he subscribed to).

Oh well. Onwards and upwards. I'm going to make a very low-key commitment to myself to post to this blog once a week from now on. Let's see if I fail (or at least how long it takes me to fail...)

So to the purpose of the post!

My lovely sister-in-law Lucy was over staying with us a few weeks back and she happened to notice the box in which little Oscar's organic baby weetabix come in. On the side the marketing blurb proudly proclaims: We certify this product 100% organic, and subject it to 265 rigorous tests.

(Or something very much like that). Which really made us think. What, precisely, would those tests be? Would the manufacturer:

fire them at aeroplane windscreens?

hold them over a bunsen burner to see what colour the flame went?

drop them off the top of office blocks?

put them in the passenger seat of a car, and set off the airbags?

put them in a wind tunnel to determine their drag coefficient?

Any suggestions gratefully received!

Oscar doesn't know it's Sunday

2006-08-07T08:27:00.000+01:00

Yesterday morning I found myself going out for a run. As I walked briskly down our street (it's always important to warm up properly, as we all know) and started my jog, I noticed how quiet everything was.

Not a car. Not a plane (we live quite near Heathrow). A couple of elderly people walking their dogs in the park - that was it.

And then I realised that most normal people are still in bed - or at least indoors - at 8.30am on a Sunday. I'd already been up for 3 hours, so it felt almost like lunchtime...Oscar, unfortunately, doesn't know when it's Sunday. Or he does, and he's getting us back for something bad we've done...

Soggy the Rabbit

2006-08-04T22:27:00.000+01:00

Oscar is a light sleeper.

But one thing that certainly helps him hurdle over the gates to the land of nod is his little rabbit comforter. We've taken to naming it Soggy. Why? Because Oscar loves nothing better than to chew it, dribble on it, and posset on it. And the smellier it gets, the more he seems to like it...

Thank goodness saliva has antiseptic qualities, or I think we'd have a functioning civilisation growing in Soggy's folds by now.

Teething

2006-06-28T22:22:00.000+01:00

I'm a bit late with this post as Oscar has now been teething for around three weeks, I think!

He now very definitely has one of his lower front teeth through, and at bath-time tonight we noticed the tell-tale signs of its brother just about to poke through the little chap's gums too. I think we're very lucky - Oscar has been a bit grumpier since his teeth started arriving, but he copes with it stoically. We just get the occasional wobbly lip and wriggly unsettledness (is that a word? I suspect not).

Offered a finger to suck on (which he loves to do when he has the chance) he does seem to take great delight in feeling his new tooth against parental flesh though!

An Oscar by any other name...

2006-06-28T22:10:00.000+01:00

Sooner or later (probably sooner) we're going to have to start calling Oscar by his name more often. Otherwise he's going to get very confused.

I've just been thinking, and it probably says a lot about me and my love of food that all the following are commonly used pet names for the little dude:

sausage

sweet-pea

pumpkin

chicken

bean

Hmmm...

Taking the long way round

2006-05-25T20:01:00.000+01:00

This started with a conversation I had with Claire as we drove back from a shopping trip with Oscar. He'd fallen asleep in the back of car towards the end of a difficult day and I said "seeing as he's asleep, let's take the long way home and see if we can get him to have a good long nap." I knew the traffic would be bad on one particular route, so that's the route I took.

And it got us thinking: how strange our priorities have become since Oscar arrived. Deliberately driving towards a traffic jam! Whatever next...

Well here's a list of other probably bizarre things I've found myself doing recently:

rubbing my feet on a towel after taking my socks off last thing at night, so as not to make that "schlippp schlippp" noise that bare feet often make on floorboards, and wake Oscar up

turning the bathroom light off *after* closing the door and *before* I leave the bathroom last thing at night, so as (you guessed it) not to wake Oscar up - this is particularly tricky as there's a wobbly step in and out

being excited to see poo - especially if it's a new colour (Oscar has just started eating solids)

singing nursery rhymes to myself while I'm working

referring to everyone in the third person, even myself...

Nursery rhymes: we should be told

2006-05-16T11:29:00.000+01:00

We were kindly given a set of nursery rhyme and song CDs recently. Our house now reverberates to them at around 7am daily as Oscar has his first kick-about of the day. Forget a bowl of cereal and the Today programme: now it's a bowl of soggy, half-finished cereal and "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush".

And speaking of which: in my detailed study of said rhymes I've noticed some startling similarities. After a few plays, they all start to sound the same. But most alarmingly:

Aforementioned "Mulberry Bush" = "The Wheels On the Bus"

This isn't just my brain jumping to its own conclusions, it's a straight rip-off. Is there something going on here? I think we should be told.

Tiredness - a cruel irony

2006-04-30T15:55:00.000+01:00

The two things you need most when bringing up a baby, I think: a sense of humour and the ability to make decisions.

It just so happens that these are the things you lose first when you're tired.

Oh cruel irony!

Emotional rollercoaster

2006-04-13T16:51:00.000+01:00

I'm not sure if this blog post will make sense, but it might make sense to other parents who remember having 3 or 4 month old first babies.

I've been spending the last 5 minutes sitting at my laptop trying to remember what I was going to post about today. At 2am, awake because Claire and I were trying to find some painkillers, I had an idea... but I can't remember it now.

So instead I'm going to type the first 20 words that come into my head when I think about how I feel about being a parent. I'm not going to edit them or think about them in advance - just type.

You'll have to trust me on this one of course. So here goes.

Help. Fascination. Tired. Bleary. Smiles. Playing. So. Cute. Routines. Trust. Confusion. End. Stamina. Coffee. Night. Sleep. Confusion. Advice. Doctors. Isolated. Work. Concentration. Hope. Love. Couple. Time. Parents. Books. Chores. Money.

OK well that's 30, not 20. But I just went until I started thinking.

And I notice I wrote "Confusion" twice. I think that's quite telling.

Coffee

2006-03-28T10:07:00.000+01:00

...is man's best friend.

I know, it's not much after a month of silence, but today it's true.

Big needles

2006-02-19T12:33:00.000Z

Last Monday Oscar went for his first immunisations (they do these at 8 weeks). One is a mind-boggling cocktail of vaccinations for whooping cough, diphtheria, tetanus, polio and haemophilus influenzae (whatever that is); the other is a seemingly less-scary single shot to protect against meningitis C.

Oscar didn't like either of them at all, however. They were administered by a very matter-of-fact, and frankly rather cold, nurse who professed to our faces that she "doesn't have much time for babies". You're in the wrong job, love! Perhaps a job as a parking attendant would be more up your street?

It fell to me to hold Oscar on my lap (naked except for a nappy, so he was already a bit grumpy) as the nurse produced a needle about 6cm long and proceeded to plunge it seemingly up to the hilt into the little chap's thigh. I couldn't believe how big the needle was compared to Oscar! He screamed a scream like I'd never heard before - a really blood-curdling yell which made my hands go cold and my heart jump into my mouth. It was made worse because I knew I'd be having to hear it again before too long (babies have to have booster jabs four weeks after the first set, at 12 weeks).

Then came the second jab, into the other leg. By this time the poor little mite was hysterical, with tears rolling down his little cheeks. It broke both our hearts!

I've just read an item at babycentre.co.uk about "what to expect on the day" and it breezily says
Many parents find it a bit upsetting, but it is done very quickly, and the nurses will understand your feelings, especially the first time
No kidding! I'm wondering if we might be able to find a nicer nurse next time...

When bottle beats breast...

2006-01-28T14:20:00.000Z

I know, I know... breastfeeding is the best option. But being a man, it doesn't need explaining that I lack the necessary equipment to get directly involved.

All I can do is plump cushions, pass muslin squares and (when lucky ;-) catch some partially-digested milk on my shoulder as I attempt to burp the little 'un afterwards. If I get to thinking really hard about it, it makes me realise that I'm at the bottom of the heap - baby's at the top; Mum supports baby; and I support Mum (when I'm actually able to be around). Being at least two steps removed from a baby in the family relationship is a tough thing for a Mars-dwelling male to do, when we're so used to being able to try and fix problems directly.

So I was very excited when I got the chance to feed the little dude using a bottle of expressed milk one night recently (well, as excited as you can be when having just been woken by a screaming baby in the middle of the night).

Oscar tucked in like there was no tomorrow. Boy, can he suck! I think I enjoyed it even more than he did - it was so lovely to see his contented face as the milk drained from the bottle, and it was fantastic to feel like I was directly fulfilling a need he had.

It must be amazing to nurse a child naturally - to feel like you're able to give them all the fuel they need with no need for supporting technology or consumer goods - just two human beings connected directly together.

Wonderful.

Oscar's arrival

2005-12-23T18:51:00.000Z

Any man who retains chauvinistic ideas about "weak women" should be present at a natural birth.

Following the birth of my son at hospital on 16th December, I am in complete admiration of my amazing wife – and of any woman who goes through labour. My hat is well and truly off.

It didn't go exactly to plan – which makes my admiration for Claire even deeper.

We had planned a home birth. Unfortunately, as Claire entered what is quaintly called "established labour" (why are there so many quaint words surrounding childbirth?) her blood pressure became elevated and she was transferred to hospital. After a day of contractions at home – whiled away with games of Scrabble and episodes of Black Books on DVD – Claire had to go to the one place she hates more than any other (including the Doctors').

It didn't start well. Because her blood pressure was elevated, the staff wanted to monitor her and the baby for a period, to satisfy them that all was well. The "carrot" encouraging Claire to put up with being wired up to various monitors was the promise of a nice warm bath; but the monitoring equipment kept giving false readings and what was originally scheduled to be 20 minutes of monitoring quickly turned into well over an hour of the kind of thing that populates Claire's nightmares.

Finally –after what seemed like an age of late-night-early-hours time with my wife getting through increasingly frequent and painful contractions, still hooked up to a set of beeping and sighing machines–we were allowed to break free of the shackles!

Things started moving much more quickly as soon as we got away from the machines and into a nice warm bathroom, and after an hour or so of water relief Claire had got near the end of the first stage of labour; five or so hours had passed since we'd left home. The real relief came when the (very nice) midwife offered Claire, now back in the monitoring room, gas and air. True bliss!

Until that point she'd been labouring with only TENS for assistance. And one thing they don't tell you about TENS is that two of the four conducting pads have to be placed at the base of the spine – exactly on some pain-relieving pressure points which are great for massage. But massaging through TENS pads is pretty tricky (they tend to peel off) and what's more it's more than a little dangerous, apparently...anyhow, the gas-and-air mixture was really taking the edge off the pain for Claire. Soon after the waters broke, and we were off to a delivery room for the second stage.

I can't believe just how much effort has to be exerted to push a baby out. Claire was pushing, in a variety of positions, for nearly two hours and it was like watching somebody running a marathon – after they'd already had to climb a mountain to get to the starting line. She did so well.

Unfortunately at the last minute, little Oscar's shoulder got stuck and we needed some emergency assistance. The baby's head had already been born, and the midwives (for now there were two, ready for the delivery) were conferring calmly about Claire's difficulty in pushing the rest of the way. Then, suddenly and without warning, the lead midwife pushed the "emergency" button. The room filled with people in a matter of seconds, and I was gently but firmly guided away from Claire and the bed, to a chair out of harm's way. I couldn't really see what was going on, but I could see a whole group of people pushing and pulling in various directions! After what could have only been 10 or 20 seconds, little Oscar was finally out. Thank goodness.

The staff were fantastic. They knew we were booked for a home birth, and they were very sympathetic in their attempts to give us a birth as close to our ideal as possible. They left the three of us alone together for a good 40 minutes too coo over each other, then provided tea and toast; and after Claire had been patched up and showered, talked through our birth plan with us, explaining why they'd done what they'd done, and asking us if we had any concerns about particular things. A really nice touch.

Finally, at around 7.30am, I left Claire to rest with Oscar in the hospital's post-labour ward and headed home to get some shut-eye. It had been an incredible – frustrating, upsetting, scary, tiring, but ultimately joyful – night.

Welcome, Oscar!

A Friday night in...

2005-12-19T16:02:00.000Z

... has never been so sweet!

Why?

Because it was my first evening with my new son Oscar, who arrived 8 days early – at 4am on Friday 16th December.

Here's a picture. At birth he was average weight (7lb 5oz) and average height (50.5cm). But oh - ain't he cute?

More (hopefully more thought-out) thoughts to follow as my brain recovers!

Breech update

2005-12-14T17:01:00.000Z

Whoops - I forgot.

The little chap turned round and settled in a nice head-down position about three weeks ago. No moxibustion required! Just a bit of shuffling around on all fours (and some encouraging talk from me, given directly to my wife's bump. I'm sure that's what did it ;-)

We've also taken delivery of a birthing pool, which has been humming away quietly in the corner of our kitchen for about two weeks now (it has a built-in heater and filter which maintains the pool water without lots of manual filling and emptying). I've had a couple of dips in it myself as a kind of after-dinner treat - and it's great! (Don't worry, I won't post pictures.)

Tenterhooks

2005-12-14T16:34:00.000Z

It seems that no matter how good my intention, I can't blog here more than once a month or so. That's a terrible work rate! I suppose this puts paid to any illusions I might have had that one day I'd write a novel... it would probably take me 10 years at least.

Anyway, "on tenterhooks" is the best way to describe how I'm feeling right now. Claire says I've got all her "nesting instinct" - but what's really going on, is that I'm desperately looking for things to keep myself occupied while the countdown to zero-hour (just 10 days til due date) continues. Jobs which I've happily left undone for months (filling in cracks, touching up paintwork, hanging blinds, cleaning the oven, etc etc) are now being tackled with zeal. It's very strange - previously my idea of an ideal weekend morning was lying on the sofa with a mug of coffee and the newspaper: now I've got typically my head and/or hands stuck inside or underneath something that needs attention.

[Apparently a "tenterhook" is a hook used to hold cloth on a "tenter". And a "tenter" is a frame used for stretching and drying cloth. So now you know...]

Breech babies and home births

2005-10-24T13:08:00.000+01:00

I really must manage to start posting more than once a month...it's just not good enough!

My word for the month this month has been "moxibustion". Our little chap is resolutely squatting like a Buddha rather than doing the usual head-down thing, and although by traditional reckoning the little blighter still has 9 weeks to go (and it seems that at this stage somewhere around 10% of babies are still breech), it seems to make sense to check out what we might be able to do to encourage him to do a somersault.

The big thing of course, as I've only recently found out, is that the vast majority of hospitals dislike the risks associated with trying to give birth to a breech baby naturally - these days in most cases they encourage a caesarian section. We're really keen to avoid hospitals and to have the birth at home - so we're trying to avoid breech presentation at all costs! All that talk about cord prolapses, head squeezing etc makes me a bit queasy.

It didn't take long before we came across moxibustion (details and definition above). It's an incredibly intriguing alternative therapy which involves burning herbs next to the mother's little toes. I have no idea how it might work - but apparently it does, in around 75% of cases...fantastic! I'll be queuing up for my sticks of mugwort when the time comes (about another 4 weeks I think).

Other things worth trying include putting a bag of frozen peas at the top of your bump and/or a hot water bottle at the bottom (the baby turns so that their head is warm, allegedly). There are also various strange positions that you can get in, which have been known to turn the baby around. The strangest thing I've read about(apart from moxibustion) is the practice of doing handstands in deep water...

Lordy. Let's hope it doesn't come to that - I'm not sure our local swimming pool would be up for it!

The 20 week scan – and some other top moments

2005-09-13T01:40:00.000+01:00

As I’ve already mentioned I stupidly let a fat month whoosh by before writing my thoughts down about what has probably been one of the Top 10 most amazing moments of my life. (Actually probably Top 5).

Hang on – at the risk of sounding like a painfully middle-class version of one of Nick Hornby's characters - let me try and think of a list of some others:
- my first (and only) parachute jump
- making a (slightly drunken) speech on my wedding day
- a helicopter ride over Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe
- looking out from the edge of the Zomba plateau in Malawi, in the late afternoon - with a 180-degree view over beautiful plains and hills that must have stretched for hundreds of miles

On reflection, I think I’ve been a pretty lucky person, to be able to have all these experiences. And the 20-week scan is right up there.

Of course we took away a handful of slightly inky scan photos, and we spent the first couple of weeks after the scan thrusting them into the faces of all and sundry – but what I see when I look at those pictures is only a pale shadow of the view I saw on the sonographer’s screen at West Middlesex hospital back at the beginning of August.

Seeing the baby at 20 weeks – when it’s pretty much “all there” (everything external is the right shape with the right number of bits) - took my breath away. I grinned like a lunatic as the baby put its hands up to its face. My eyes were like saucers as I watched it kick its legs.
On the screen, the continuing shift in perspective helps you see what’s really only, at any one moment, a cross-section view of the baby, as something much more like a 3-D picture. It was beautiful.

The best bit, though, was when they asked us if we wanted to know the sex of the baby. I’d been watching the screen intently (hardly blinking, I think) for quite a few minutes and I was sure I hadn’t seen anything that looked like a giveaway – but the sonographer, somewhere along the line, had obviously already twigged, as she told us straightaway: “it’s a little boy – I’m 100% certain”.

It probably sounded stupid at the time, but I asked “how can you tell?” (Well, obviously I know how you can tell – but I hadn’t seen anything which looked anything like a winkie. What’s more, I’d heard that sonographers never say they’re 100% sure about the baby’s sex).
A little more manoeuvring with the scanner, and there it was – larger than life.

“There you go,” she said.Crikey.

Meditating over Greenland

2005-09-13T01:39:00.000+01:00

I’m kicking myself because after a brief flurry of blogging activity, work, holiday and general everyday distractions got in the way, and I slipped out of the habit. I was determined to write about the experience of our 20-week scan – but it’s taken me until week 26 to get around to it.
Note to self: must try harder.

In fact it’s taken a prolonged enforced period of idleness (a 11+ hour flight from Amsterdam to Los Angeles) to remind me to get back on the horse. Specifically, staring out of the window as we flew over Greenland. The pilot announced that he’s rarely seen the view as clear as it was a little while ago, and it was utterly breathtaking. It was like a scene from that book: With no familiar features to lend scale to the view, it was easy to fool myself into thinking that I was looking out onto a snowy mountain stream containing small snowy rocks – whereas I suspect I was looking out onto a mile-wide lake, populated with mini-icebergs, with huge glacial plains either side. I’ve never seen anything like it.

Of course, I forgot to pack a camera.

Anyhow – as I watched this incredible view scroll majestically past my little frost-encrusted plane window, my brain slipped into one of its lovely (but sadly only occasional) states where all sorts of important/cool/weird thoughts bubble up to the surface. I remembered that I’d let quite a few weeks slip by. So here I am again.

Nothing especially good, or bad, lasts for long

2005-08-09T19:05:00.000+01:00

I spent a few hours with my old friend Richard the other weekend, and his partner and little boy. He told me that the only piece of parenting advice he'd been given (by another old friend of mine as it happens) which turned out to be any good, was:

"Nothing especially good, or bad, lasts for long."

Just as it seems things can't go on like they are for much longer (incessant screaming for no apparent reason, for example), things invariably get better.

And the flipside: just when you're feeling smug because something has worked out particularly well (a particularly smooth feeding session, for example) - it'll all come crashing down ;-)

I think I'll engrave this on something prominent...

Learn what you can from others...and then ignore it?

2005-08-09T18:53:00.000+01:00

As prospective parents, my wife and I have been on the receiving end of a lot of advice and ideas from all and sundry. It seems that everyone (man or woman) that we've spoken to has their own particular view, that has almost nothing in common with the others.

For example - it's possible that we'll go for a home birth - and it seems that in some people's eyes, that makes us devils-incarnate. The implication (never stated, as that would be un-British) has sometimes quite clearly been that only by taking advantage of every possible medical assistance/intervention, are you doing justice to your unborn.

The truth seems to be (and it's not surprising) that each mother or father's own experience of childbirth shapes their opinion of what is good, and what is bad. The trouble with this is that it's only a small minority that appears to recognise, deep down, that every birth experience is different.

I know this is hardly earth-shattering insight. But for any prospective new Dad out there - my advice: listen to what everyone has to say (and everyone will say something opinionated, even if not asked ;-) and take it in - but when it comes to supporting your partner and thinking about what you both want to do, be prepared to forget what everyone else says and go with your own instincts.

It's not their baby, it's yours.

Hello

2005-08-08T12:39:00.000+01:00

Here we go then!

I've blogged for a little while as part of my job, but not "personally" (if you know what I mean).

So - why am I doing this? There are a few reasons (in no particular order):
1. There's a whole heap of things I'm learning at the moment, and I wanted to write them down but I thought this would be more interesting than just writing a normal diary
2. There's a chance that the things I learn or think about might be interesting to someone else in a similar situation - and if another prospective Dad reads something here that they find useful, then that's great
3. I've always wanted to do more writing outside work but don't have the stamina (yet) to write anything complicated like a novel
4. I think that's it...